best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
