we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
