How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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