"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
