So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
