She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
