woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
