it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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