I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
