Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
