God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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