1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
