Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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