I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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