you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All the doctor said was why
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
