as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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