you win again, gameday.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
