I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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