highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
