I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
