omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
