I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
