Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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