that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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