you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
