Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
