I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
