I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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