I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
