Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
