She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
