If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
