If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
