Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
