She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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