Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize