Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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