its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
