Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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