All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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