It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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