yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
