What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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