It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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