All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
