so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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