If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
