I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
