I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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