I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
