no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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