fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I will be naked everywhere
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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