This house was built for laser tag.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
