I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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