You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
