it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
