...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
