there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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