I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
