Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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