You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
