i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
