I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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