Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
