Sponge bath it is.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
