feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
