she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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