What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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